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Leaky Roof

Author: IRmjii
Type: Poem
Rating: Explicit
Status: Complete
Preceding: None
Succeeding: Computer Crash


A Poem by IRmjii

Woke up this morning
Heard water dripping and pouring.
"Strange" I said
"Water is going all over the bed"

Went downstairs and noticed more water
The sound was so loud it woke my daughter
"What the hell's goin' on" she spoke
"Don't worry" I said "The pipes broke"

"Well hurry up" she scolded
"The rest is about to be unfolded"
"Never fear, me dear" I say
"The water will soon go away"

"Well you have 1 hour" she says coldly
"My room is going moldy"
I went and got dressed
So i can stop us being stressed

I went outside to look at the leak
Despite the loud shriek.
Water was flying everywhere
From the pipe to my hair.

"Holy shit" I shout.
"Water is flooding about"
My daughter enters the scene
She doesn't look very keen 

"Well do something dipshit"
I shout "Alright don't have a fit"
I went to the garage and brought a ladder
So my daughter won't get madder and madder

As soon as i found the ladder
Next to the step ladder
I brought it along the room
Or the room of doom.

I climbed the ladder onto the roof
And realized the roof is block-proof
"It isn't rocket science!" my daughter points out.
"You come up then here asshole" I shout

I saw the leak on the side
It was very tall and very wide.
I picked up a bit of tape
And covered the unusual hole shape.

"Ya done yet?" Says my Daughter
"Yep" I reply "No water"
Soon as i say that
The pipe hisses like a house cat

"Ya sure you did it right?" She explains
"Of course i.." I reply as the pipe breaks like chains.
I go flying from the roof
And onto the floor with a big oof.

"Shit....." My daughter shouts
Lesson learnt...When in doubt
Don't try to be clever
Go speak to a woman named Heather

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