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House of the Undead

Author: IRmjii
Type: Poem
Rating: Explicit
Status: In Progress


Written and Published By IRmjii

One - Welcome

Welcome i suppose i should show myself.
I am Gerald who used to work in a hotel.
I would wait tables for the rich and poor.
And when told answer the door.

It was a really enjoyable and satisfying life.
I'd get my weekly pay and come home to my wife.
Money was good and food was great
Despite the fact i sometimes came in late.

However i'm not here to talk about that.
I'm here to discuss the time had a chat
With my friend across the road
Who noticed a unusual truck carrying a unusual load.

"Has mailman got a new job?" i asked.
"Nah mate" He said "They got a delivery to Belfast"
"What for?" i said
He responded "Probably 2 pints a milk and a loaf of bread"

"Belfast is miles away!" I spoke
He said "Tell that to the old bloke"
I questioned "I think their's something fishy going on"
"Well you have a look" he wonders "i gotta mow the lawn"

Two - Driving up the Wall

I rang up one of my neighbors and spoke
"Something's up in this town"
That conversation almost made him choke.
"You nearly had me sandwich clogged in me throat ya clown!"

I said "Their's a truck that is carrying a unusual sludge of something"
He responded "Well if you see him gimme a ring"
"It's much more serious than that" i warned
He sighed "Well i for one am scorned"

I hung up on him.
Who needs him i can do it on me own.
They say go out on a limb...
Or in this case a bone.

First things first....
Where the fuck is Belfast?
I'll do it later I've got a terrible thirst.
Wherever it is i should get their fast.


Three - Anyone for directions?

After lunch i went out with a rucksack
"Where ya going?" My neighbor Joel asked
"Belfast" i said dressed in all black
"For....what reason?" He questioned slightly aghast

"A mysterious truck came over" i said
"What does that have to do with anything" he examined
"The truck smells funny" i responded "But not like really old bread"
"So?" he scoffed "Trucks stink all the time...some even worse than Hammond"

"Your cat rarely smells" i retort
"Besides i don't even think it is a trash truck" he says
I scowl "Hey a man was sentence to court"
"For what" he asked "Failing a Maths quiz?"

"No!" I spoke "For smuggling dead horses"
"Really?" He laughs. "Now that's stupid"
"Ya know fuck you" i shouted. "I have my sources"
"I think your being stupid that's all" says the doofus

Four - Were going on a Trip

Ok so what do i need on this journey:

Books
Shoes
Hooks
Booze
Cash
TV
Secret Stash
Bonsai Tree
Wheels
Games
Meals
Names
Clothes
Hats
Nose
Cats
Dinner
Paper
Printer
Ice Scraper
Suncream
Chocolate
Crazy Scheme
Glass Plate

Yep that covers about everything.

Five - Off we go.

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