House of the Undead

Author: IRmjii
Type: Poem
Rating: Explicit
Status: In Progress

Written and Published By IRmjii

One - Welcome

Welcome i suppose i should show myself.
I am Gerald who used to work in a hotel.
I would wait tables for the rich and poor.
And when told answer the door.

It was a really enjoyable and satisfying life.
I'd get my weekly pay and come home to my wife.
Money was good and food was great
Despite the fact i sometimes came in late.

However i'm not here to talk about that.
I'm here to discuss the time had a chat
With my friend across the road
Who noticed a unusual truck carrying a unusual load.

"Has mailman got a new job?" i asked.
"Nah mate" He said "They got a delivery to Belfast"
"What for?" i said
He responded "Probably 2 pints a milk and a loaf of bread"

"Belfast is miles away!" I spoke
He said "Tell that to the old bloke"
I questioned "I think their's something fishy going on"
"Well you have a look" he wonders "i gotta mow the lawn"

Two - Driving up the Wall

I rang up one of my neighbors and spoke
"Something's up in this town"
That conversation almost made him choke.
"You nearly had me sandwich clogged in me throat ya clown!"

I said "Their's a truck that is carrying a unusual sludge of something"
He responded "Well if you see him gimme a ring"
"It's much more serious than that" i warned
He sighed "Well i for one am scorned"

I hung up on him.
Who needs him i can do it on me own.
They say go out on a limb...
Or in this case a bone.

First things first....
Where the fuck is Belfast?
I'll do it later I've got a terrible thirst.
Wherever it is i should get their fast.

Three - Anyone for directions?

After lunch i went out with a rucksack
"Where ya going?" My neighbor Joel asked
"Belfast" i said dressed in all black
"For....what reason?" He questioned slightly aghast

"A mysterious truck came over" i said
"What does that have to do with anything" he examined
"The truck smells funny" i responded "But not like really old bread"
"So?" he scoffed "Trucks stink all the time...some even worse than Hammond"

"Your cat rarely smells" i retort
"Besides i don't even think it is a trash truck" he says
I scowl "Hey a man was sentence to court"
"For what" he asked "Failing a Maths quiz?"

"No!" I spoke "For smuggling dead horses"
"Really?" He laughs. "Now that's stupid"
"Ya know fuck you" i shouted. "I have my sources"
"I think your being stupid that's all" says the doofus

Four - Were going on a Trip

Ok so what do i need on this journey:

Secret Stash
Bonsai Tree
Ice Scraper
Crazy Scheme
Glass Plate

Yep that covers about everything.

Five - Off we go.

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