Rating: Explicit
Status: Complete

WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE (Sorry couldn't help it. It's my POV btw)

The stage. I'm going on stage and singing my song. And I'm freaking out.

The spot light is now on me. I'm freaking out on the inside. People are staring and scooting closer, and I bet they're going to talk about me now.

"The next one up is Foxe, and she's gong to preform Outside- Ellie Goulding."

I'm still wearing the purple sweater from yesterday and my legs feel like they're made of jelly. Helen's giving me the thumbs up, but I can't see him. Not yet. He's sitting in the back row, I guess, talking to his friends animatedly, and pretending to not notice his crazy 'fangirl' that's on stage.  Ha! I'll show you that!

I can admit that I'm scared- I really am. My feet are suffling and I almost skim over a loose wire. My smile is frozen and my fingers feel like ice- just like always. My eyes search his in the crowd, hoping such would calm my fast beating heart. 

'I cannot rely on my brother now', I think as I shuffle towards the piano. The piano was there as always, and it's sight was taunting me for last year's incident. 'Come over, Foxe. You have this last chance. Last chance of not backing out.'

Damn that man. He could have clapped for me.

I suddenly feel a new wave of fear as I approach to take the microphone. His face flashed across my brain and I sighed. The piano was beneath me; it felt so familiar, so right under my fingers. People were starting to cheer me on. My red scarf reflected in the spotlight, and I took a deep breath. The voice inside me was loud and clear, 'You're going to lose anyways, just get over it!'. Instead of backing out like last year, I stood tall and proud. The lyrics were going from 20mp to 1000mp, flashing through my head like lightning bolts. I gazed at the dear piano shyly. And took a DEEP breath-

"Look at what you've done

Stand still, falling away from me When it takes so long Fire's out, what do you want to be?"

Cheers erupted from the crowd, and I continue. I smile through the whole song, and I sing my thoughts out. Ha, beat that, Oscar!

Notes start falling from the piano; I was wrapped up in heaven! My fingers worked open the magic key inside of me, and the anger, fear of him hurting me again faded slowly. Soon, I was completely embelled in my song.

Sadly, all great events have to end. As i landed on my last note, full out clapping was heard. I bow, a blown out smile on my wiped out expression. And when I stood on stage, recieving my first prize, I beamed.

I no longer feared the stage, the lights. I embraced the new fear- hope!

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