That night started with me feeling like a prank. You see, me and Esmer together had decided that, due to the fact I can change my bodily sex, I would prank a mutual friend, named Annie Black. She’s a lovely girl, and probably doesn’t deserve it, but me and Esmer together are evil. So, over the nights, we planned it all out. I would change, cut my hair, and then play the role of a character named “Philip,” who was with Esmer. Then, “Philip” would start flirting with Annie, and when they were about to do something romantic, if they did, boom, big reveal.

Ha ha.


Not when put into practice, actually. We tried it, once, with others before we were going to move on to Annie. So, I changed. It hurt like hell, after all, my muscles and bones were expanding and changing and twisting, and old flesh receded and new flesh sprouted. I’m used to it, I suppose, that I rarely used the form for the last few hundred years.

When it was done, I changed clothing, from what I normally wear into some new male clothing. I always thought gendered clothing was strange, I mean, why can’t everyone just wear whatever you want? And why do my normal clothes have less pockets? Some of the great mysteries of the world, I suppose.

So, I went out to meet some of the chaps. Asa was one of their names, and she was the only one to talk to me. Yui was there as well. She’s weird, and not really that important here. So, with my new body, I greeted Asa, who simply asked:

“Who the hell are you?”

“Philip,” I replied. “Is Esmer anywhere around here? I’m kinda her boyfriend.” The lie started there, and though perhaps a half-truth, it was still a half-lie.

“Nope. Haven’t seen her. She and I aren’t on the best of terms.” Asa said. I cocked my head and looked at her, curious. This was something I hadn’t heard before.

“Why?” I asked, shifting slightly.

“She thinks I’m from Black Eden or something,” Asa said, and she shook her head. “Crazy, really. So no, haven’t seen her.”

“Why would she be worried about Black Eden?” I asked. Black Eden is this weird group, I don’t wanna get into too much detail.

“I don’t think I’m really at liberty to say much.” Asa replied, turning around and looking at the river. Now I was getting curious. Perhaps against my better instincts, I pushed for more information. After a few minutes of questioning, Asa spilled the information to me.

“Alright, alright, I saw her from time to time. I think she was an operative, no one of consequence.” I nodded.

I turned and looked around the clearing, the small clearing outside my cabin. Of course, no longer Charlotte, but now Philip, I had to act curious. I suppose Yui was content just sitting there, playing with shadows.

Esmer came through the forest a few minutes later. She’s incredibly tall. I’m five feet, almost on the dot, even as Philip. She’s over six feet. She came over and hugged me, and I got my unintentional motorboat from her. We started talking, and I brought up the subject of Black Eden. She became silent, and barely talked, in a hushed whispers.

“I…I don’t…t-talk about Black Eden…” She said. “I’d…prefer to not talk about it at all…not here.” Mizumi looked at the two of us. She was convinced we were legit. Esmer was shaking, and so, I broke character and hugged Esmer, stroking her back until she was calm. It took a very, very, long time to happen. When she finally stopped shaking, I looked up at her.

“Back to my place?” I asked. She nodded, and we walked to Damascus, a walk of about a half hour. We talked, mostly about gossip and stupid shit like that, like a couple would. We got into Damascus, and went to the motel room I had rented for us to retreat to at the end of the night. After all, Charlotte couldn’t appear to give me clearance to sleep in my own bed. When we got to our place, we both started laughing at how easily we had pulled it off. My character was broken entirely, and me and Esmer started kissing and laughing and fooling around. Her shirt was off, and I ended up massaging her back and kissing her neck. She told me about Black Eden. She had been an experiment. 

I decided to do something I had never done before: drink. I offered to go to the nearby liquor store and buy some stuff for us. She nodded, and said that would be very good. So, I went to the store, and in about a half hour, I returned with vodka and beer. We drank, and I got drunk before her.

And we totally fucked.

Diary of an Organic PEZ dispenser - 3

Diary of an Organic PEZ dispenser

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