Rating: Explicit
Status: Complete
Series: Album de Luminous
Preceding: None
Succeeding: None

WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE (Sorry couldn't help it. It's my POV btw)

A/N: Not dedicated to anyone. And the person writing it is Flame aka me, Bramblestar2521.

Care (Monologue)

It's that thought that makes you cry. The very thought of sadness, a past event makes your tears drip down, one by one. It makes you fear "fear" itself. It makes you embrace the darkness inside of you, the sadness, pain and hurt. People on stage do not know what to do, they just stare. The audience follows. Some clap, because they think it's a show. A drama. 

Your supposed friends laugh at you. You manage to calm your cries into sniffles, and everyone claps. They think you're putting on an act, a play, and they thought you were supposed to cry.You know it's not that simple. It's not.

Arguements with your friends, crush, family drives you crazy, and that's the things that irk you every day. Not to mention bullies, homework, love, drama... You wonder if you are living in a sad world. You did a quiz online and found that you were 88% suicidal. If it was another person who took the quiz, they would abandon it in a second and laugh over it. You were certain that you had depression, and the world is made up of sadness. You feel alone. It's just you. Just you.

The teacher congradulates everyone and tries to soothe you, but you have to let it out- the pain, the regret, the agony. You couldn't let it go, and all you needed was care. Maybe a friend would care. Just maybe.  

And the teacher ain't helping. He calls on you, over and over again. You have a sudden urge to slap him, but you don't. He's a goddam teacher for heaven's sake! How could you do that to him and without worrying about your grades?! You shyly glance at the others, seeking out for help alone.  

But as the understanding dawns on you: that you're alone, you have absolutely no friends for support, you broke all the rules and boundaries, you cry again. Burst into tears, and cry, hoping someone will lend you a shoulder. It will never happen. It's just the very person you are, the sad, "unique" freak and that no doubt you have no friends.

The others stand in a cluster, not knowing what to do. The teacher then leaves you alone, hoping that you'll solve this shit and you feel your feet sink to the ground, tears dripping faster then ever. You catch your former best friend's gaze. There nothing but sheer understanding in them. And you loath it. That very gaze you used to face every day and night was pitying you. You don't need her pity!!!

Your crush. He had made your life a huge mess. You didn't even know if he loved you back, and still, everyday, you gaze at him, warily, as the teacher reads out the daily bulletin. He's sp perfect, yet at the same time, naive. You deserve someone better. It's not worth it, you think, but the hidden desire for a lover hits you hard.

You are nothing to him. Stop pitying yourself and get a life.

Distress signals echo through your brain, ringing constantly in your head. Flickering flames lick the bottom of your mind, and you shiver, not because of the sudden cold, but your fear of losing him. Losing it all... it would mean nothing to you, right?

Suddenly, you feel a hand tapping hestaintly on your shoulder. You know it's someone here to taunt you, and reflexively, you turn away. The hand, however, grips your shoulder firm, and a soft, soothing voice enters your ears. You stiffen and look up.

It's him, the very one that caught your eye a year ago. The same person who cared about the others. He was like the "Dad" of the group, the caregiver of the society. The liveliest person in the whole club. You look back into the stage, and find that you are alone. Your former best friend and her gang left you. He was the only one here, and you didn't give a fuck even if others teased you about it.

You let it all out and he listens, occasionally offering small words of wisdom. Pats on the shoulder were not usually welcomed, but this time, you let your walls down and embrace the love and care he offered. The others come back in for a small break, but you ignore them, focused on the voice that had calmed you and made you feel warm all over. You feel your back getting hotter as others look at you, some snickering, some whispering. You flush a pale pink, and he just smiles encouragingly. You find yourself biting your lips, trying not to burst into tears again.

But everything is fine now. You found someone who cared for you, who loved you as who you are. Your sobs stop, and when he offeres to help you with your part, you decline. But on the inside, you smile, as the drama club celebrates their success. But nothing matters now.

You found someone who cared, who loved you for who you are.

A friend. He cared. 

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