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Call Me

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Call Me

Author: Leopardclaw
Type: Songfic
Rating: Moderate
Status: Complete



Yet another Thorki songfic. Possibly minor spoilers here and there. Italics are lyrics, Red is Thor, Green is Loki, Gold is both. Song is Call Me by Shinedown


Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown

I could have been king, I could have destroyed Jotunheim, I could have made father proud. Thor was always, will always be his favourite son, the worthy one. I'm not even of Asgard! What am I but nothing? The unknown holds secrets, and mystery and darkness. A fitting place for a master of mischeif. A fitting place for a Frost Giant. A fitting place for a shadow.

Left the spare key on the table
Never really thought I'd be able
To say I'll merely visit on the weekend
I lost my whole life and a dear friend

But he was the only one who loved me, he was the only one who truly thought me a friend. I can never return to Asgard, not as I am and I cannot be as I was. Did they really mourn? I don't suppose they did for long. But perhaps Thor did. Perhaps he was the only one who truly was sorry that I was gone. Or perhaps not. Perhaps they all forgot me, left me with nothing after all.

I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, never mind
God knows I've tried

I have tried and tried again to prove myself worthy of anything, even to get some recognition for doing something good. But I was always a shadow, in a shadow; Thor's shadow. Never good enough. Never worthy enough. Never a match for the God of Thunder.

Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same
Call me your favourite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say
So I'll be on my way

Loki is my brother, and always will be. I blame myself for how me feel, I blame myself for his suffering. I will always love him as I always have and I will never forgive myself for him falling into the abyss. I think he does not understand that I will always forgive him, that I will always love him. But he will call me what he wants, and I will always be powerless to stop him.

I finally put it all together
But nothing really lasts forever
I had to make a choice that was not mine
I had to say goodbye for the last time

At least I thought it was the last time. I did not know that the abyss would lead me to what I have become. All I remember is falling, falling, falling, and the only words that echoed in my head were Odin's and Thor's, a battle of bitterness and despair. I did not think I would see the other side of the abyss, nor did I think that anyone would still care if I did. But Thor did.

I kept my whole life in suitcase
Never really stayed in one place
Maybe that's the way it should be
You know I've led my life like a gypsy

I have been overshadowed my whole life, and I don’t suppose I ever will not be. Perhaps I should leave and never return, at least not where anyone can find me. My whole life has been a shadow and I do not intend that it shall become any different now. I shall be a king or I shall be nothing. And I doubt Thor will ever let me try to be a king again.

I've said it so many times
I would change my ways
No, never mind
God knows I've tried

I will never change again for anyone, anything. I can only tust myself, and it is myself that I will take orders from. I shall be free of everyone. And yet there is still a part of me that would burn if I were to leave everyone behind. Or rather, not everyone, merely one. Why is it that I feel as if I could not leave him behind? Not again.

Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same
Call me your favourite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt
It's all that I can say
So I'll be on my way

He believes that no-one cares about him, that he is always the one who gets overlooked. I wish now I could show him how much I truly do care for him, how much I will always love him. No matter what he does he will always be my brother and I will never give up on him. Even when he pushes me away and lets me down, even when I am disappointed with him or angry with what he is doing I will always care. Always.

I'll always keep you inside
You healed my heart and my life
And you know I tried

Call me a sinner, call me a saint
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same
Call me your favourite, call me the worst
Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt

I would give myself up before I let you hurt, Loki, my brother, my friend. I will love you always and I will never leave you or give up hope for you, even in your darkest moments.

It's all that I can say, so I'll be on my way
I have been let down too many times. I have tried to show everyone I an be worthy of something, but never to success.
So I'll be on my way
If I leave now no-one will miss me.
So I'll be on my way
But perhaps I shal miss you, Thor.

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